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I don't always show up for my wife. I have a shit ton of student loans. I have terrible issues with procrastination and planning. I am a person who is sometimes too scared to put in the work to realize their full potential. Then I hide behind that fact, be it running or otherwise. I don't always own these things. Sometimes I avoid. Other times I become a gigantic defensive asshole. Ironically, I am also a therapist. My mood fluctuates wildly. My life is not as terrible as I see it and I felt self-righteous in being sad about the fact that I feel terrible but my life is not that bad so I suck, which makes me feel more terrible.  
This is the backdrop of my running. I think running is my self-administration of narrative therapy. Or mindfulness. In this moment, in this breath, with this footfall, I make a choice of who I am and what I am doing. 
However, even in running, I default to the abovementioned settings: Lazy, careless, disorganized, distracted, and selfish.  Let me see i…
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